200447

Joke of the Day

"Grasshopper walks into a bar Bartender goes ""*hey! you.... we have a drink named after you, buddy!*"" Grasshopper excitingly responds ""*no way! You have a drink named Steve?*"""

"What do you call Shaka Zulu with a Fire Cracker? BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA!"

"Saying Java is good because it works on Windows, Linux and Mac OS is like saying... Anal sex is good because it works on men, women, and animals."

"Doctor, doctor, what did you say I had? Capricorn? - No, C a n c e r."

"Sarcasm is truly the most significant force in the world. Seriously, where would we be without sarcasm?"

"Sigh. Woodstock '99 was a terrible use of this Time Machine."

"What's the difference between a dead hooker and a Porsche? (Not what you think) I've never been inside a Porsche."

"After years of cooking, I've found that the best way to prepare brussels sprouts is to throw them away and order pizza."

"Just farted in my cat's face. That's what we call a power move, gentlemen."

"I've been crying a lot recently It's shocking how many girls carry pepper spray"