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Joke of the Day
"I like Peter Dinklage in Game of Thrones But I like him better in smaller roles."
Next Joke
"Why do Italian men grow moustaches? They want to look like their mothers."
"Back from my bike ride and I feel fit as a fiddle ... the fiddle, ya know, that most athletic of instruments..."
"Best part of election night is seeing how fast states tabulate votes and judging the slow ones. What's up, Sloth Carolina?!"
"Whenever someone says they have ""a thing"" for me, I secretly hope it's a pony."
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day... ...set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
"Did you ever get two pieces of shocking news at once? I just found out my sister was diagnosed with testicular cancer."
"""Suicide Squad"" looks like a bunch of people Avril Lavigne hangs out with."
"The fastest land animal is a guy that sees a woman about to go through his phone"
"What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called? Hindsight is 2020"