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Joke of the Day

"I just play poker so I can say I'm going all in without smirking."

"Kylo Ren used to complain his parents were passive aggressive. Well, boo hoo. My dad was actively aggressive. Just ask my hand."

"[party] What exactly does BYOB mean? ""Bring your own beer"" Bill Nye the Science Guy slowly slides the bacteria sample back in his lab coat"

"Presidential Disinfectant Hydrogen Barackside"

"Why was the Energizer Bunny tried in court? He was charged with battery."

"95% of the world is retarded I'm glad I'm part of the 10%"

"Did you hear the one about the streaker who ran naked through a church? The priest caught him by the organ"

"A baby seal walks in to a club. . . ."

"Divorce is like hitting the reset button on Super Mario Bros except now you pay for the Princess's castle and hope Bowser kills you."

"is this Sara? hi, this is Tom from HS. my god its been years! Anyway, im calling because u changed your HBO Go password & I need the new one"