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Joke of the Day

"[magician rolls over in bed] ""Last night was amazing"" Woman: Magical. Make me breakfast? Magician: [waves magic wand, eats her]"

"A man with two coffins under the arm knocking on a door. a woman answer you've brought your children from the trip"

"I love when people say to me... Omg! Your so funny on FB. If they only knew about my awesome copy & paste ability..They could be just as funny!"

"When the cashier asks me ""Is that everything?"", I feel like crap inside because obviously my order didn't satisfy her."

"What did the Mexican firefighter call his two sons? Jose and Hose-B"

"A Physics teacher was talking about the velocity of a falling ball A student asked, ""Is it an African ball or an European ball?"""

"What part of America can't sell full sized soft drinks? Minnesota"

"What does spinach and anal sex have in common? If they were forced on you as a child you probably don't like them as an adult."

"Why do people say ""Be there or be square""? Because if you're not there, then you're not around."

"When your iPod stops working, it floats. Because it doesn't sync."