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Joke of the Day

"I love when people say to me... Omg! Your so funny on FB. If they only knew about my awesome copy & paste ability..They could be just as funny!"

"Comedy is suffering. I just saw on twitter someone posted ""When you've got a migraine so bad you can't see straight :c"" I've never heard of a migraine making heterosexuals invisible before."

"What is a SJW's least favorite element on the periodic table? Helium."

"I watched an entire movie with my daughter without checking Twitter once. I got this addiction beat. Now how do I stop the twitching?"

"Do you know what the real letdown about John Glenns death is? It's the second time that Yuri Gagarin beat him to it."

"You know Coca Cola's newest advertising campaign in russia? Under each seventh cap - **vodka**!"

"Some of my co-workers want to go hang out tonight. Trying to figure how to fake my death and still make it into work tomorrow."

"UHD TVs are going to be obsoleted next year by the new standard: DBZ It has a a vertical resolution that is over 9000."

"Why shouldn't you date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them!"

"Have you heard about the new Web MD zodiac? All the signs say Cancer."