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Joke of the Day

"What Do you call 20 Millionaires watching the Superbowl? The Dallas Cowboys"

"Star Wars Joke. How many stormtroopers does it take to change a glowpanel? 2. One to change it, and another to shoot him and take the credit."

"I met a farmer who genetically altered a chicken to have six legs so his kids didn't fight over the drumsticks. I asked him how it tasted. He said he didn't know. He couldn't catch it."

"Went out dressed as a chicken last night and got with a girl who was dressed as an egg and a life-long question was answered... Turns out, it was the chicken!"

"If I ever win the lottery, I'm going to share it with everyone. Not the money, just going to let you know that I've won."

"The best part of waking up is... nothing. Waking up blows. Fuck you, Folgers."

"I think my optometrist is in love with me. Every time I leave his office he hands me a bottle of contact solution and says ""Eye care for you"""

"Everybody who has played Russian Roulette will tell you it's safe. Well, at least 5/6 people will."

"You wanna know how to intrigue someone? I'll tell you tomorrow."

"How do you tell if someone is opposed to GMOs? Don't worry, they'll tell you."