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Joke of the Day
"What's blue and fucks grannies? Me in my lucky blue suit."
Next Joke
"The hardest part of any relationship is when it's not your turn to talk."
"LISA GOPMAN: EATING DISORDER For as long as I can remember, I've had an eating disorder: reverse anorexia. It's when I look in the mirror and think I'm really skinny."
"What happens when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito? Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scaler."
"A wife comes home and says, ""Pack your bags, honey, I just won the lottery!"" The guy says, ""Great darling. Should I pack for the ocean or the mountains?"" She says, ""I don't care, get out!"""
"I went to the Air and Space Museum It wasn't as empty as I thought it'd be."
"I went running today but came back after 5 minutes because I forgot something I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 5 minutes."
"God Plays Golf"
"What do you call the drummer that just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless."
"My 42 yr old friend is dating a 24 yo guy, she caught him cheating so she took away his play station for a week"