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Joke of the Day

"A friend asks his friend to tell him a joke. Friend A - Hey dude, tell me a joke. Friend B - Pussy. Friend A - I don't get it? Friend B - I know you don't."

"What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre!"

"I got a cat the other day. I had to swerve, but I got it."

"I'm looking for a new nursing home for my mother. Something without phones or access to postage stamps."

"Neverland Ranch Why did Michael Jackson build Neverland Ranch? He was fucking immature."

"My girlfriend said, ""Hey, want to hear a dirty joke..."" I expected her to say ""a white horse in mud"", but she surprised me with ""your dick after we do anal""."

"How are children like cellphones? If you've lost one and haven't found it in a couple days, chances are it's probably dead."

"I like my sheds the way I like my strip clubs... ...dark and full of hoes"

"How does a Tyrannosaurus Rex scratch it's junk? It squats down on a Triceratops."

"[goes to sign up for course on how to handle bad news better] ""sorry, we're full"" [lights myself on fire]"