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Joke of the Day

"[goes to sign up for course on how to handle bad news better] ""sorry, we're full"" [lights myself on fire]"

"Apparently, the sonogram machine is to see unborn babies in the womb I thought it was for making you age 10 years. Instantly"

"If your phone gets wet, try placing it in a bag of rice... ... at night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you."

"I wrote a song about tortillas. Actually it was more of a wrap."

"An iPhone user walks into... [x-post r/funny] a bar, a hotel, a field. He's not too sure"

"In know what comes after I... Just Kidding!"

"How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Burger King didn't wrap his Whopper."

"Went to the zoo and all they had was one dog. It was a Shih Tzu."

"What's a French person's favorite video game system? The Wii! (Oui)"

"If PETA is upset about Lady Gaga's meat dress, wait until they hear about what people do to that stuff in restaurant kitchens."