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Joke of the Day

"Birth Paddy's wife was ready to give birth so he rushes her to hospital.On arrival the nurse asks ""How dilated is she?""To which paddy relies,""Oh Jaysus we""re both over the fucking moon!!..:)"

"No I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at what I think of you."

"Have you heard about Prince Oxygen? He is heir to the throne."

"TIL That Oscar Pistorius once opened a pizza parlor only to have it fail and go bankrupt. The cause? His car was always breaking down, so OP never delivered."

"A mother walks in on her son playing with his privates... ""You really like those new toy soldiers, don't you?"""

"Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle ? Because of all the cheetahs !"

"What blood type does a man with bad spelling have? Typo"

"I ordered a meal from the International Space Station. My sides are in orbit."

"How did the Otaku Redneck guy name his daughter? Annie Mae"

"My girlfriend texted me ""helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalternative"" Anybody know what ""ternative"" means?"