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Joke of the Day

"So this Ethiopian's eating a lion right... Just kidding"

"I was so happy when I got my first pubic hair! But instantly saddened when I realized it was just my penis :(..."

"Q: Why can't a bicycle stand up? A: It is two tired."

"Today I had an allergic reaction to a peanut... **This title contains content from FINE BROTHERS ENTERTAINMENT who has it blocked on copyright grounds.**"

"In 2016 Scott Baio has called Hillary Clinton a cunt, Chris Christie has called her a criminal and Ben Carson has called her a Lucifer worshiper. What will they call her in 2017? Madam President."

"[sprains my ankle] Doc: does it hurt when you put pressure on it? Me: Let me check Me: [to ankle] c'mon dude try it, it's only one cigarette"

"You're lifting weights dude, you're not in labor. Settle down."

"I hate people who take drugs... specifically the DEA and US Customs. Edit: Thanks everyone for the free Internet points. Appreciate it. :)"

"Therapist: *pulls up in a brand new Mercedes* Me: You're welcome"

"Why are black fathers always missing? Because white cops always shoot them for no reason."