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Joke of the Day

"[sprains my ankle] Doc: does it hurt when you put pressure on it? Me: Let me check Me: [to ankle] c'mon dude try it, it's only one cigarette"

Next Joke
 
"Sorry I missed your call, I was busy seeing how many times my phone would ring before you gave up."
"mom: who's your background? me: my boyfriend mom: can i meet him? me: not before i do mom: what? me: what?"
"My friends say I can be condescending That's when you talk down to people."
"I like cheese Just like cheese man"
"I hate it when people come to MY house, knock on MY door then ask me why I'm not wearing pants."
"Heroin use among horses have grown But finding the evidence is like finding a needle in a haystack."
"Teacher: Fred can you find me Australia on the map please ? Pupil: There it is Teacher: Now Louise who discovered Australia ? Pupil: Fred did !"
"I have a Punjabi friend He Singhs very well"
"dentist was flossing my teeth & said ""they're very tight"" & I said ""yeah they're homies"" & he laughed so loud that it made me uncomfortable"