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Joke of the Day

"Therapist: *pulls up in a brand new Mercedes* Me: You're welcome"

"What happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas, & now my brother has to send what happened child support. :/"

"Apparently the stock downturn has a lot to do with a big gas plant going offline. I guess the gas was argon."

"Sprinklers are just little heads looking around for their friends but they can't find them so they cry"

"I held a convention for solipsists. Nobody else showed up. So I sent everyone home."

"I know the **BEST** way to get someone interested in something. Actually, never mind, maybe I shouldn't tell you."

"What is the most popular bar in the Middle East Aloha Snackbar"

"""There's Dave"" Regular Dave or Dave who thinks he's a hotdog and ""f"" is a vowel? [cut to Dave writing in a book titled ""Diary of an frank""]"

"What the #1 thing every guy looks for in a woman? His dick..."

"What food greatly diminishes a women's sex drive? Wedding cake"