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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a German singalong? Follow the lieder!"

"Give a man a fish he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and you'll have to fix the washing machine yourself with YouTube videos"

"I knew this girl, she's really deep; she'd always find a reason to preach about how size does matter..."

"What is it called when a chemist has a really great winter break? Litmus"

"Weird how the guys who say that don't see race always know the black-on-black crime statistics."

"There is a thin line between Numerator and Denominator. I bet only a fraction of you get this."

"I wish everyone would stop vaccinating their children. It's really cutting down these lines at Disneyland!"

"What's the difference between a nun in church and a nun in the bath? One has hope in her soul..."

"If an interviewer asks you: ""Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" say ""I don't know, did you see me pull up in a DaLorean?"""

"I'm going to be late I'm at the hospital getting my hymen restored, so I'm a bit de-laid."