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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a nun in church and a nun in the bath? One has hope in her soul..."

"If at first you don't succeed, do it the way I told you!"

"I came up with an in-depth, comprehensive list of films that are just like real life"

"My girlfriend might not appriciate this. Me: I've got something to tell you. Gf: Don't say that makes me anxious. Me: I've got a date. Gf: ??? Me: http://imgur.com/GeYB7xY Still to hear back from her."

"Why did the can crusher quit his job? It was soda pressing..."

"TIFU by sending my nudes to everyone in my address book Cost me a fortune in stamps"

"How do you get a parrot to talk properly ? Send him to polytechnic !"

"What did the flower say about the tree heading to the sky? He's on route."

"Just when I thought life couldn't get any harder... I accidentally take Viagra for my migraine."

"""Ever wonder why Rice Krispies costs the same as quieter cereals?"" why would- ""It's because they're sold by weight-"" Dan, NO ""not by volume"""