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Joke of the Day

"*sees a woman struggling with a big suitcase up the stairs* Me: Need help with that? Her: Yeah! Me: *gives her a hug* You got this, girl."

"Whats the difference between a corvette and a blowjob? Your mom didnt give me a corvette"

"When you refuse to pay your exorcist: ...you get repossessed."

"What do you call a cow with epilepsy? Beef jerky!"

"You know homeless people are the real progressives of this country. Always asking for change."

"Did you hear the one about the magic tractor? It went down the road and turned into a field"

"""That's a wrap, everybody."" ~movie director identifying delicious food"

"Good news for insomniacs! Only one more sleep until Christmas!"

"Hi. Everyone. I created a subreddit for topical news jokes. If you like Colbert, Letterman and Leno's opening monologues, come check it out. /r/newsjokes"

"Q: How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process."