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Joke of the Day

"The best way to get taken seriously... ...is to be related to Liam Neeson."

"I couldn't figure out why my car exhaust was so quiet... It left me baffled!"

"What do you get when you cross an octopus and a Mexican? I don't know but it can pick the shit out of some lettuce."

"Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza"

"Wanna hear a racist joke? Donald Trump."

"Nobel Prize Who ever invented Knock, Knock Jokes should win the No-bell Prize."

"Nephew: Really?! Me: Yup! Go for it! N: *runs into wall* Me: *takes pic* N: *wakes up* Am I at Hogwarts? Me: No, we'll try again later."

"What dance moves do physicists do? the torque"

"The 2016 US Presidential Election That's it. That's the entire fucking joke. Edit: Woke up to hundreds of messages and FP status. Damn. Thanks, folks! And thanks for the gold!"

"I like my coffee like I like my women... without a penis."