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Joke of the Day

"So a woman was facing a judge in court... She was on trial for beating her husband with his guitar collection. The judge then says ""First offender?"" She says ""No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"""

"We were so satisfied with the year 2015 so we decided to hold out on 2016 and instead call it 2015*s+*"

"A gas station had 2 signs in the window, help wanted and self-service. I walked in and hired myself. credit: Steven Wright"

"A wine tasting? Where people SPIT OUT precious wine?! Sure, maybe we could go to the humane society and watch them put puppies to sleep too."

"I can't decide if I want to watch the original Star Trek of The Next Generation... I guess you could say I'm stuck between a Spock and a Picard place!"

"Silly Political/Finance Joke What do Vladimir Putin, Crude Oil, and the Russian Ruble have in common? They're all going to be 65 this year."

"*Wakes up* ""Wow I feel pretty good"" *Moves body* ""Maybe I spoke too soon"""

"What did the farmer say when someone pooped into his water source? Well shit..."

"why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? because he was far out."

"I went to a Mechanic when my car started making these awful noises but it just turned out to be Nickelback playing on the radio."