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Joke of the Day

"My mate went bald ten years ago and he still has his old comb that he used to use . He just cant part with it."

"You're an embarrassment to the human race. What are you doing later?"

"Why did little Dan dropped his ice cream? He was hit by a buss"

"How did the geologist develop a career as an expert in sinkholes? He fell into it."

"""What did you do today, mommy?"" ""I invented names, like 'Grand Theft Anal' and 'Mortal Cumbath"" on Twitter, and you?"""

"*Hulk smashes thru courtroom wall* SOMEONE ASK FOR INCREDIBLE WITNESS?! Judge- no, CREDIBLE! Hulk- shit HULK VERRY SORRY BOUT YOUR WALL"

"A mother called the police on her 6 month old baby for not taking a nap. He was resisting a rest."

"Who died and left the US in charge? Hitler."

"Old witch: Now I know you want a job with me. Do you tell lies? Young witch: No but I can pick it up."

"I was trying to solve an equation when I realised that the minus button on my calculator was broken... On the plus side, it still worked."