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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the blonde only smell good on the right side? A: She didn't know where to buy Left Guard!"

"Lawyer Joke :) What's the difference between a Lawyer & a Hooker? A hooker quits screwing you when you're dead :)"

"Im absolutely exhausted, would you believe I have spent all week road testing penny farthings..... My feet haven't touched the ground."

"My friend Gav died last night from taking too many heartburn tablets... I can't believe Gavisgon"

"First monster: That pretty girl over there just rolled her eyes at me. Second monster: Well you'd better roll them back to her she might need them."

"X says to Y : ""i feel so close to you, i feel like zero divides us"""

"""What's your favourite Pixar film?"", my dad asked I replied, ""Up, yours?"" My dad gave me a weird look and said, ""No need to be like that, I was only asking."""

"Why did the narcissistic cannibal end up in the hospital? Because he was so full of himself."

"When I saw my new girlfriend for the first time, it was like looking at a fine piece of priceless art. So I took her home and nailed her against the wall."

"Got a job cleaning up leaves. I was raking it in."