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Joke of the Day

"First monster: That pretty girl over there just rolled her eyes at me. Second monster: Well you'd better roll them back to her she might need them."

Next Joke
 
"My packing technique for jams is amazingly effective; cram equipment in case, sit on case, break case, swear at case, buy new case, repeat."
"People complain when my baby is crying and then they complain when I stuff her in the overhead bin, MAKE UP YOUR GD MINDS"
"Q: Why did God create man before woman? A: He didn't want any advice."
"Did you hear the one about the dyslexic insomniac agnostic? He lay awake at night, wondering if there is a dog."
"I don't know why women spend so much money on sunglasses... Wouldn't it be cheaper to just tint the kitchen windows!"
"What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ? Santapplause !"
"Every girl wants to be swept off her feet It's when you put her in the trunk that she starts to freak out"
"Why couldn't the woman date a German man? Because she was Klaustrophobic!"
"*stares off into the distance* Distance: I have a boyfriend"