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Joke of the Day

"First monster: That pretty girl over there just rolled her eyes at me. Second monster: Well you'd better roll them back to her she might need them."

Next Joke
 
"My fear of dogs went away after I dated my ex Cause she was a total bitch"
"How do you compliment a girl with a cold sore? You tell her that her smile is contagious."
"Tim Tebow is a lot like Mary because they're both virgins. But at least Mary was able to produce."
"If someone sees you accidentally bite into plastic fruit, commit. don't show weakness. eat all of it"
"Can't decide whether to go to bed or to finish this Rubik's cube I started in 1988."
"What does a sheep, a drum, and a snake all say when falling off of a cliff? Baa-Dum-Sss"
"Anyone you can do, I can do better.."
"Me: *staring into mirror* Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary *skeleton bartender appears and slides me a drink* SB: $8.50, $8.50, $8.50"
"What do you call a black woman who's had 4 abortions? A crime fighter."