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Joke of the Day

"Watching my kids play the Xbox Kinect and it's taking me back to when I was a kid and we had this great game called playing outside."

"[me narrating a documentary about whales] look at these useless fat rubber sea pigs"

"I wonder if skunks ever think, ""why do I smell like a pound of weed?"""

"Me: We do *not* spit on our classmates! 5YO: Well, who DO we spit on, then? I miss the funny stuff my kids said when they were little."

"Jesus walks into a motel He gives the guy at the counter 3 nails and says, ""can you put me up for the night?"""

"yo mama so nasty... cows with mad cow disease run from her.."

"Do you want to here a joke about TCP Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it?"

"Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood."

"I don't delete annoying people out of my phone. I give them new names so I know not to answer. ""Always needs a favor"" is calling, decline."

"What's the biggest lie on the internet? ""Thank you for **choosing** Comcast."" Edit: fuck it, let's hear all the biggest lies you people know. Yes, I mean *you people*."