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Joke of the Day

"I wonder if skunks ever think, ""why do I smell like a pound of weed?"""

"[sexy time] Me: Let me be your fantasy. Him: It's a Star Wars thing. Me: Say no more. *leaves* *comes back dressed as Yoda*"

"If I have trouble finding an arm hole while putting on a dress shirt, I imagine I'm rehearsing for my show ""Damien Fahey: Shitty Magician""."

"So I tried to get a ride from Subway., Turns out that they don't deliver"

"Anyone have any jokes about Rats? Need some good ones!"

"blonde joke of the day Blonde: ""What does IDK stand for?"" Brunette: ""I don't know."" Blonde: ""OMG, nobody does -"

"Son: Mom! What's a gf? Mom: if you're a good boy, you'll get one when you're older. Son: What is I'm not a good boy? Mom: You'll get many."

"I'm having trouble finding a route to my rich aunt's funeral, Oh well, where there's a will... there's a way"

"If his selfie doesn't make you kegal, you're just not that into him."

"My girlfriend is amazing, she is a Chinese food chef So shes very Lo Mein-tenance"