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Joke of the Day

"Me: We do *not* spit on our classmates! 5YO: Well, who DO we spit on, then? I miss the funny stuff my kids said when they were little."

"I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was sat next to a crying baby. Apparently that's not allowed if it's yours."

"A cheeseburger walks into the bar... And the bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve food here."" Sorry"

"What would you do if you were a ghost?"

"Click Baited...and outsmarted...and generally out played.. i miss u paul. <3"

"Polish bank robber tied up the safe, blew the guard."

"The navigator of the Titanic dashed to the Captain's deck. Navigator: ""Sir, if we keep heading that way we will hit the iceberg! We have to change course now!!"" Captain: ""but it's unsinkable."""

"THE BAD BELT Q: Why did the belt get locked up? A: He held up a pair of pants."

"Why don't pirates ever stop going to brothels? They can't get enough booty."

"I assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late."