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Joke of the Day
"[me narrating a documentary about whales] look at these useless fat rubber sea pigs"
Next Joke
"Pussy I know some of you don't get it."
"My dad called to ask if sending an email to the USA costs more. I told him a LOT more, better not risk it"
"I found out that for months my kid has been throwing his poop at beehives. I sat him down and said, ""Son, it's time we talked about the turds and the bees."""
"Coming up to the anniversary of 9/11 a reminder, that jokes about this tragedy are plane wrong."
"WAYS TO KILL 2 BIRDS W/ 1 STONE 1 Ricochet 2 Retrieve, rethrow 3 Line up birds precisely 4 Huge boulder 5 Use lovebirds, 2nd dies of grief"
"No one can text faster than a pissed off woman"
"What do you call a female comedian? not funny"
"""Which would you like, a piano or a motorcycle?"" ""Yes."" (Yamaha)"
"The maple leafs are my favourite curling team Always sliding down the ice bumping into the walls and never hitting the bullseye."