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Joke of the Day
"What was the cat painting A self pawtrait."
Next Joke
"Why don't vampires like steak? Because it's bad for their heart."
"What is the monkey that can't peel the banana? Terrible at CC"
"I make you wet and naked people turn me on. What am I? A shower"
"Just got a houseplant. Can't wait til it grows a house."
"So I was coloring my few, grey hairs with a sharpie and Hubby walked in. He told me, I'm the reason for warning labels on small appliances."
"[bill gates house] Bill: What's on at the cinema? Wife: Let me google it and- *terrified look at bill* Wife: Let me bing it and see."
"Im a bit hurt that my friends told me I'm condescending. Condescending is a big word that means you talk down to people."
"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate its tit-alot"
"Working on a theory that Johnny Depp died shortly after The Rum Diary and filthy scarves and wigs are simply wheeled onto movie sets now"