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Joke of the Day

"What was the cat painting A self pawtrait."

"Ask your doctor why there are claw marks on the wall. Ask your doctor to stop growling. Ask your doctor to stop climbing and smelling you."

"My friend, Damian, is crazy for apple products He's a macadamian nut."

"While Ajax sales have been going down... It's still stronger than Greece"

"A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel sticking out his crotch. 'Does that not hurt?' asks the bartender. To which the pirate replies: 'Yaarr, it's driving me nuts!'"

"What be a pirate's favorite letter? Ah, ye'd think it be R matey.... but actually it's the C!"

"What do you call four Mexicans in quick sand? Cuatro sinko"

"I had to defrost the fridge last night before bed. Or foreplay, as she calls it."

"therapist: im glad u overcame ur fear of snakes and all but- me, with a snake: ur gonna say i shouldn't have married this snake aren't u"

"I donate all our garbage to Goodwill because who knows what those bums might have use for."