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Joke of the Day

"Went to see a show about the dictionary. It was a play on words."

"My ex-girlfriend is standing at the opposite end of the museum from me! I want to go say hi but there's just so much history between us."

"I'm an adult. I don't cry over spilt milk unless it has coffee in it."

"What's the creepiest body of water? Lake Eerie. Note: This joke has probably been made before."

"why didn't the rabbit like his beer? not enough hops"

"I'm not good-looking enough to be this stupid."

"Me: How old is your daughter? Her: She'll be 4 next week. Me: *audible sigh (Slowly, emphatically): OK. But I asked how old is she... NOW."

"I wonder if Scarlett Johansson ever fantasizes about fat comic book nerds, or is that just a one-way street?"

"Q.Why did the blonde get thrown out of the M & M factory? A. She kept throwing out all the W's."

"We only cook with fresh, local ingredients so tonight we're grilling our neighbor's cat."