131063

Joke of the Day

"What does a piano, tuna, and a bucket of glue have in common? You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Don't ask me about the bucket of glue though... I've been stuck there for a while"

"[Noah's Ark] Noah: How will the animals reproduce? God: You took a male & female, right? Noah: YOU SAID BRING 2 YOU DIDN'T SAY 1 OF EACH SEX"

"If I ever noticed you waving frantically from inside a burning building I would totally wave back because I'm polite."

"So scientists have invented a way to turn dolphins nearly invisible It's pretty neat, but I don't really see the porpoise."

"What did R. Kelly say to the teenage girl fan? Urine for a surprise."

"People that live in glass houses have tons of dead birds on their lawn."

"So a banana gets a job, how much does he make? Not that much he's working for scale."

"What do you call a cow that's missing a leg? A 3 legged cow"

"Life isn't about winning and losing. It's about wishing you would have won and wondering why you lost."

"The neighbours dogs woke me up last night barking loudly. So I threw my shoes out of the window at them and that shut them up. It was a pair of hush puppies."