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Joke of the Day

"My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person."

"If you care about someone, even a little bit. I beg of you. Please. TELL THEM WHEN THEY HAVE SOMETHING IN THEIR TEETH."

"A morning text from me doesn't mean ""good morning"". It means ""I'm having very dirty thoughts about you right now""."

"I like to mix things up a bit and go to a fast food place and complain that there isn't enough pubic hair or fingernails in my food."

"I got a black girlfriend now. I burned my hand on the stove."

"Why is the Math Book so sad? It has so many problems! -Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this."

"What's the best type of monastery to send troublesome teens to? A Beenadickteen one"

"I like to put Aunt Jemima next to the Uncle Ben in my pantry. I'm hoping for a love connection."

"In Iraq why don't they teach drivers ed and sex ed on the same day? The camel gets too tired."

"Fajita poop, fajita poop! How dreadful are thy splashes!"