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Joke of the Day

"Why is the Math Book so sad? It has so many problems! -Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this."

"I always blurt out, ""SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND"" in my best Al Pacino Scarface accent when I stand next to a stranger at a urinal."

"Why was the whittler banned from his synagogue? Because he made his rabbi a little cross."

"What does Sean Connery say when he has to go number 2? ""I've got a shituation"""

"Vodka is made from potatoes. Which means once upon a time, someone looked a potato and figured out how to drink it. Genius."

"I paid $10 and got $20 worth of fishing supplies. It was a net gain."

"I fall more in love with you each day, well, except yesterday. Yesterday you were really freakin' annoying."

"[Hardware store] ME: I'll take one of those giant forks. WORKER: That's a rake. ME: I'm gonna eat so much spaghetti with that thing."

"What's a cannibal's favourite type of food? Finger food!"

"'Not Actual Game Footage' 'Translation' 'We put more effort into this advert than the actual game'"