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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a blowjob and a burger? Oh, you don't know? We should do lunch sometime."

"How many redditors does it take to make a good joke? Three. One to post it, the second to post a better punchline in the comments, and the third to complain that it's a repost."

"two atoms are talking.. ""Hey Bob, why the long face?"" ""I've just lost an electron."" ""What, are you sure?"" ""Yes..... I'm positive."""

"I just had to add ""velociraptor"" to my Microsoft Word dictionary because apparently I missed the dinosaurs expansion pack or something."

"I like my women like I like my whiskey.. 19 years old & full of coke.."

"Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only ""comes"" once a year"

"Why couldn't the spotty cat chase the sheep? Because her Mum wouldn't leopard be a shepherd"

"The man who went to the bar with a gun. A man comes in a bar with a gun in his hands and yells ""Who the hell fucked my wife!?"", a voice at the back says ""you don't have enough bullets, mate!"""

"The service on my iPhone is so bad I'm thinking of calling it my AOL phone."

"People always ask me why I procrastinate.. They say, ""you know, the early bird gets the worm."" I just respond, ""yes, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese."""