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Joke of the Day

"I just had to add ""velociraptor"" to my Microsoft Word dictionary because apparently I missed the dinosaurs expansion pack or something."

"The oral sex with my imaginary girlfriend is mind-blowing."

"Life starts with everyone cheering when you poop and goes drastically down hill from there."

"what's going on with people who are mad at movies that last longer than 90 minutes but happily watch an entire season of TV in one day"

"This wrinkle cream made my balls look like some weird balloon animal."

"Are you going to the BBQ? The one where I out my meat on your grill!"

"I had a happy childhood. My dad would put me inside a tire and then roll me down a hill. They were Goodyear s."

"what is the most common place to find a Jew after world war 2 The grave"

"All my gay friends must be businessmen... cause they keep talking about their partners."

"What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Convincing their family to consent to it!"