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Joke of the Day

"I just had to add ""velociraptor"" to my Microsoft Word dictionary because apparently I missed the dinosaurs expansion pack or something."

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam. You can't peanut butter your dick into someone's ass."

"What's a gay guy's favorite news station? The BBC."

"No. Skinny girls shouldn't be in charge of the office thermostat. You need a middle-aged woman with hot flashes named Brenda on the dial."

"Why was the lightning bug unhappy? Because her children were not very bright."

"How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock? She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it."

"I used to play pocket hockey... ...but I stopped because the referee was a dick."

"Why are Pentacostals so good at kissing? They have the gift of tongues..."

"I was up all night wondering where the sun had gone And then it dawned on me"

"What do you call it when 2 cops let everyone know some dead cow meat is homosexual. Steakout"