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Joke of the Day

"You have to keep changing your clocks for daylight savings Aint nobody got time fo dat shit but apparently errybody got time fo dat shit."

"What is the difference between a seal and a sea lion? an electron"

"We could hit every terrorist on the Most Wanted List tomorrow, if we turned it over to Google's ad department."

"I've given up on cooking. It always starts off well. Then it just turns to shit."

"I'd tell you a joke about my penis... but it's way too long."

"What's the difference between Caitlyn Jenner and two kids playing catch at the park? I actually give a shit if the kids lose their balls."

"Why was Leia disappointed on her wedding night? Han shot first."

"What does Trump's hair and a thong have in common? They both barely cover the asshole."

"What's the same between Brussel sprouts and anal sex? If you enjoy it as as an adult you hated it as a kid"

"The Theory of Relativity: Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives."