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Joke of the Day

"You have to keep changing your clocks for daylight savings Aint nobody got time fo dat shit but apparently errybody got time fo dat shit."

"Which book has the worst cliffhanger? Anne Frank's Diary"

"What does 80 year old pussy taste like? Depends."

"I lost fifty pounds in two weeks by lying!"

"[Office] Secretary: Mr. Grey will see you now. Anastasia Steele: I have a ridiculous name."

"I like to yell ""Aloha, Captain Future!"" when I see someone using an iPad in public."

"Did you hear about the hockey game where all the players had leprosy? There was a face off in the corner."

"Not only is my new thesaurus terrible, But it's also terrible."

"People like to put words in your mouth, predictive-text likes to put words in your phone."

"My inflatable girlfriend always looks surprised when I walk into the room."