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Joke of the Day

"My mother picked up an Oreo but dropped it... My father looks and her and says, ""too bad you have butter fingers when you want an Oreo."""

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"Apparently I snore so loudly that I scare everyone in the car I'm driving."
"Where do fish come from? Finland!"
"What's the final product Steve Jobs released? The iDied"
"My friend Oscar met Leonardo DiCaprio and told him a joke. He didn't get it."
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? None. The light bulb will change itself when it's ready."
"why are sex ed and drivers ed never on the same day in Iraq ? the camel would get overworked"
"My brain made a vote today Seven against five decided that we did not have dissociative personality disorder. EDIT: so many edits, is it alright now?"
"Lady pulled away with the gas pump still in her car and I was like OMG who's your dealer?"
"My professor's name is Andy Nusbaum. His email is anusbaum@[university].edu"