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Joke of the Day

"I'd tell you a joke about my penis... but it's way too long."

"Well if you didn't want me to fall in love with you, why did you tell me you had nachos?"

"a group of kittens is called a litter because kittens are garbage"

"I realized today that my bed sheets are covered in layers of dead skin cells. It's okay though, I'm comfortable in my own skin."

"Reasons I work out. 1) I don't wanna be bit by a vampire and spend eternity out of shape and double chinned. 2) I guess to be healthy"

"What did the poplar tree say to the weeping willow? Hey pal, you just need to branch out more."

"if the neighbor kid is driving you nuts practicing saxophone you can complain or teach her Careless Whisper - maybe be a problem solver"

"Why don't Bill Cosby's Lights Work? He required that their circuits have no resistance."

"If Jesus was a cat we'd have nine Easters."

"""My nose is going to grow now"" said Pinocchio, rending a paradoxical black hole in the fabric of space-time."