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Joke of the Day

"I wish I was able to say as many things with a simple 'mmmmhhhmmmmm' as your average elderly black woman."

"Superman is using his supervision... And sees Wonder Woman lying naked in her bed! He breaks through her window and picks her up. ""Surprised?"" He asks. ""Not as surprised as invisible man!"""

"Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one........ Break their bones, they have 206."

"Why do heavy drinkers usually live longer than light drinkers? Because you thought this was going to be a fat joke, that's why"

"painting Painting is the second thing in the world that requires hand and imagination simultaneously"

"My wife hasn't said a word to me in 6 days. What's even better is, she thinks it's punishment."

"What would you call Martin Luther king Jr if he was white? Alive."

"A man was walking through the woods with a little boy... It starts getting dark and the boy says to the man ""I'm scared"". The man replies ""YOU'RE scared? I have to walk out of here alone""."

"GF: I'm leaving you because you're obsessed with Spanish puns and Despicable Me. ME: Please don't go. You're Juan in a minion."

"What's a reporter's favorite food? Ice cream because they always want a scoop!"