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Joke of the Day
"If Donald Trump was Chinese, what would his name be? ...Wong."
Next Joke
"If you haven't had a vagina around your neck... You haven't lived. Happy Mother's Day!"
"Rabbit: I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I'm all out of carrots. What should I do? Friend: Don't worry; be hoppy!"
"The most stressful part of my day is when my 5 year old shows me what he made in Arts & Crafts and I have to guess what it is."
"First blowjob Guy: I got my first blowjob today. Friend: Was she good? Guy: She sucks."
"Today I'm approaching teens dressed like I'm from the future, locking eyes, and saying ""Happy Presidents Day, sir"" with a wink"
"So I was at the bar last night.. and the waitress screamed...""Anyone know CPR?!"" I said, ""Hell, I know the entire alphabet!"" Everyone laughed...except this *one* guy."
"You knock on the melon to test freshness but something knocks back"
"A patriotic Helen Keller song... ""Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it 'Maughhghariianoo oohhghhoo onooa oooaughhahg'."""
"Nice weather guys, lets have the internet outside today..."