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Joke of the Day

"First blowjob Guy: I got my first blowjob today. Friend: Was she good? Guy: She sucks."

"*Fakes Phone Call* ""Yes a thousand doves please....well give me pigeons and i can paint them white"" (cups hand over phone) ""I plan weddings"""

"Someone just filled me in about those small places in the hot, sandy desert called an ""Oasis."" ... That's where the Arab boys go to eat their dates."

"What do Donald Trump and Mondays have in common Nobody likes them."

"I went to an orgy... And all I got was this cummy t-shirt."

"What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and ET? ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn't claim benefits, had his own fucking bike, and wanted to go home!"

"I shouldn't laugh at all what is brown and lives in a tree? - - - - - - - - -a stick"

"What does a condom and a wife have in common? They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick"

"Boss: Where'd you go?? Me: I got all the way up front and realized I forgot my pen. Boss: Okay? Me: So I went to lunch."

"My ex-wife still misses me... But her aim is gettin better."