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Joke of the Day

"So a baby seal walks into a club Ba-dum-tssss"

"You can tell a lot about a person just by noticing how they continue to talk after you've sighed six or seven times."

"If the doorbell rings, its normal to drop, shimmy across the floor, press your body to the wall & not breath till the person is gone, right?"

"The ACLU has informed me that Mother's Day is too inclusive. So Happy Everyone Gay Pride AIDS Awareness Aboriginal Illegitimate Child Day!"

"Have you heard the one about the grain farmer? It was corny."

"If you happen to be a dirt road, expect someone wearing a cowboy hat to write a song about you today."

"The importance of commas ""Let's eat, grandpa!"" said the incestuous cannibal"

"What did the left eye say to the right eye? Just between you and me, something smells down there."

"I love strapping my kids into their car seats. It's the closest I can legally come to putting them in straitjackets."

"Did you hear 50 Cent was selling concert tickets for just $0.45 cents?! It was featuring nickleback..."