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Joke of the Day
"I really don't have much respect for those that take drugs and alcohol. Like Customs, for example."
Next Joke
"After years of commercials, I still have no idea what a Go Daddy is"
"*bursts into church* DONT MARRY THAT WOMAN ... Undertaker: ""This is a funeral"" ... OKAY WELL IT STILL HOLDS TRUE, DONT MARRY HER"
"I hadn't seen it in a while, but at a concert last night I saw someone using a disposable camera... It gave me a flashback"
"A man came to my door and asked if I would make a donation to the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water."
"You don't have to write 'Twitter addict' in your bio. Your 58675687K tweets give it up by themselves."
"I once made an apathetic club. No one cared enough to attend the meetings, though."
"To trick people into thinking I understand things at a museum I stand in front of every painting and silently count to twenty."
"I did laundry for 7 miles according to my Fitbit that I accidentally washed and dried."
"Kids these days be like.. Hashtag, you're it"