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Joke of the Day

"A man came to my door and asked if I would make a donation to the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water."

"What's the difference between your wife and your job? After 5 years your job still sucks."

"I hate people who leave jokes hanging. Its like a"

"My parents are visiting. So I pretty much know how much gas costs everywhere"

"Why wouldn't Chad Kroeger (lead singer of Nickelback) have sex with Helen Keller? Because she's a woman!"

"Why did the clock get banned from the library? It tocked too much"

"My wife set up a spycam and found out my sons ""speech impediment"" was from 5 years of me talking to him in Borat voice while she was at work"

"NASCAR Fight after race Any one notice that NASCAR gave out suspensions and 6 figure fines (&no drivers) and then they use it to promote Sundays race in AZ Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm"

"The security camera at work has ""too many instances"" of me acting like a dinosaur on film. And ""any amount"" is ""too many."" According to HR."

"How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes? Hold up your arm and say 'Go back you didn't say 'May I?''"