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Joke of the Day

"Asked for Cheez-its Wife buys Cheese Nips Now she's sitting in the corner thinking about what she did."

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"[Possible GOT Spoilers] What's Rickon Stark's favourite band? One Direction"
"I wanted cats. My wife wanted kids. So we got a dog."
"My girlfriend and I went to the Renaissance fair and saw a minstrel get cut in the arm He's gonna be okay though, my girlfriend had just the thing to stop the flow of minstrel blood"
"What's the difference between a blind hunter and a constipated owl? One shoots but can't hit while the other hoots but can't shit"
"What is black and rhymes with Snoop Dogg? Dr. Dre"
"Why did the Greenlander get so angry when he didn't win the lottery? Because he was inuit to win it"
"I asked my magic 8-ball which email client to use. It told me... Outlook not so good."
"A falling battery killed a man today. It was charged with murder."
"If you encounter a bear DON'T RUN. Maintain eye contact. Keep maintaining it. Fall in love. Marry the bear. Tell story to your grandbearbies"