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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend and I went to the Renaissance fair and saw a minstrel get cut in the arm He's gonna be okay though, my girlfriend had just the thing to stop the flow of minstrel blood"

"What did the horse say to Santa? Nothing, horses can not speak."

"Sometimes it seems like Anthony Weiner doesn't even have a sense of Huma."

"I lost twenty pounds by making sure that three times a week I get a good hour of doing crystal meth"

"""IT'S NOT A RACE, YOU GUYS!"" i yell from 6th place"

"Pro Tip: Make sure you're physically fit when arguing with a mime. They speak the language of the body."

"I can't believe my computer has the audacity to edit audio"

"we dont serve time travelers here A time traveler walks in to the bar."

"I want what any normal girl wants in life... A great job, a loving husband and to be the wallpaper on thousands of iPhones."

"My kids are mad at me because I never unwrap the cheese slices in their sandwiches"