155279

Joke of the Day

"If you encounter a bear DON'T RUN. Maintain eye contact. Keep maintaining it. Fall in love. Marry the bear. Tell story to your grandbearbies"

"When a woman puts on a low cut shirt, she's basically saying she wants to win all arguments for the day."

"My friend told me to stop speaking in numbers... but I didn't 1 2."

"I had an argument with a Mobius strip the other day. It was very one-sided."

"I too save a bunch of money on car insurance. By not having any."

"The son comes out to his dad The son says to his dad: Dad, I am gay. His dad says: You're not gay. Elton John is gay. You're a morose son of a bitch."

"I stopped carrying my phone in my shirt pocket, because every time it vibrated my first thought was: Heart attack!"

"With everyone watching Democrats fight Democrats over tax cuts, now would be a great time for Republicans to have sex in airport washrooms."

"My true love and I are like parallel lines. We will never meet and I will die alone."

"What is brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre"