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Joke of the Day

"Waiter is there soup on the menu ? No madam I wiped it off !"

"I want to write a book called ""Variably Orgasming Man"" So people ask me how's ""Variably Orgasming Man"" coming?"

"What's the greatest birthday present? Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating."

"When I'm in a good mood I act like I'm I'm in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood. Neat huh!"

"When someone spaces out their ""ha ha ha's"" in a text I read it in Count Dracula's voice"

"How do Southerners get through customs so quickly? They do declare!"

"Properly relocating a cavewoman Q: Why did the caveman drag his cavewoman around by the hair? A: Because if he dragged her around by the feet she would fill up with dirt."

"NURSE: She's in a coma. She's been on hungerstrike [boyfriend walks in with just enough chips for himself] PATIENT: *Opens one eye*"

"[Driving w/date in car] Date [turns radio to country] Me [reaches over date, opens passenger door] This isn't working. [Hits eject button]"

"""Are you ok?"" ""No, I'm bleeding because its fun."""