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Joke of the Day

"The police never think its as funny as you do."

"The Human Centipede review I found it a little tongue-in-cheek... Source: Dad"

"I rode a taxi It was fake"

"I met up with my ex-fiance today and immediately began having sex The police did not take it well as I was only asked to identify the body."

"The difference between a prostitute and drug dealer? A prostitute can wash her crack and resell it."

"ACCOUNTANT: *taking a look at my books* These are just winky-face emojis. ME: Yep. ACCOUNTANT: I think I know why your business is failing."

"There are two secrets to being a successful businessman. 1) Never tell people everything you know... 2)"

"[bleeding out] ER Doctor: do you know your blood type? ME: I've never really thought about it TBH. As long as it has a good personality"

"What do you call an excited rectangle? An erectangle."

"What can a Chicken do that you cannot? Eat with his pecker."