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Joke of the Day

"A bikini is an outfit where 90% of a woman's body is exposed. The amazing fact is that men are so decent, they only look at the 10% that isn't."

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"Why are fish so gullible? They fall for things hook line and sinker!"
"Just one time I wanna see The Bachelor get a cold sore"
"What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? A key"
"They say celebrities die in threes... Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson. Leave it to Billy Mays to throw in the fourth for free."
"Me: Did you hear that? Her: Go check it out Me: Are You Crazy? They always kill the good looking people first Her: You'll be alright"
"The lord said unto John, ""Come forth and receive eternal life,"" but john came fifth and won a toaster."
"If you ever see a movie where a woman is depressed and she has shaved legs that movie is bullshit."
"My friend tried to light a cop car on fire. He threw 99 Bananas..."
"How many teenage girls does it take to screw..... in a lightbulb? Just one to hold it up as the whole world revolves around her."