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Joke of the Day

"I was invited to an event that requires causal dress. Should I wear a time machine or a syllogism print?"

"What did the sailor say about Pirates of the Caribbean It's see-worthy"

"Freudian Slip... I got divorced over a Freudian slip. I meant to say, ""Please pass the salt"" but I said, ""You rotten bitch, you ruined my life."" (I think that's a Jackie Mason joke)"

"It is so much easier to turn friendship into love, than love into friendship."

"Chuck Norris Joke Chuck Norris tells Preston about settlements that need help."

"What is Vladimir Putin's favourite subject? Computin science"

"Just read a story in a magazine that a woman is claiming she was raped by an alien.. Big Deal!.. So was Lady Gaga's mother"

"Liz from HR just called me in. I guess my thigh gap is distracting everyone, like that's my fault"

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.... And the rest was made in China."

"America, Britain isn't the ex who pretends it was mutual We're the ex who say 'Phew, missed a bullet there'"