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Joke of the Day

"Always Drive Drunk That way, if you get into an accident, at least you are drunk."

"How many Millennials does it take... to screw in a lightbulb? None. Their parents will do it for them."

"What did the chronic masturbator say to his ex-girlfriend? I'm nuttin' without you."

"Jesus was talking to a crowd... Jesus was talking to a crowd, explaining he was the son of God. Everyone in the crowd said ""Nah, No way!"" Jesus stood up and said ""Yahweh!"""

"*pulls away from kissing my girlfriend's twin* TWIN: she'll never find out about us ME: thanks dude you're a trustworthy guy"

"A message from a Canadian to all Americans out there.. I'm sorry"

"One time I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist.... Unfortunately, I couldn't find any openings....."

"What do you call a Jamaican proctologist? A Pokemon."

"*job interview* ""Youre 30? Why haven't you accomplished your life goals?"" ""Tbh I thought the Mayan apocalypse was real. No plan past that."""

"How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it"