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Joke of the Day

"My wrists hurt every time I drive through a tunnel with passengers. The doctor diagnosed me with Carpool Tunnel."

"""What's your greatest strength?"" Shadow puppetry ""Seriously?"" [interviewer presses intercom button] ""Pat, please bring a flashlight in here"""

"Cashier: how old r u? Me:*holding beer nervously* uuh 21 Cashier:*shaking his head sadly as he pulls Trix out of my cart* Trix are for kids."

"**I am undecided about abortion** On the one hand I support it because it is killing children. On the other, it gives women a choice."

"In the navy, how do you separate the men from the boys? With a crowbar."

"What did the tin man say after he was ran over by a steamroller? ""Curses! Foil again!"""

"What do you call a pregnant girl A run on sentence"

"What's the opposite of effort? F it."

"What do you call 2 gay Irishmen? Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael"

"What is the most overused force in science? Van der Waals."